I’ve witnessed, only twice in my life, that spark, that flame I have for someone die out.

And it’s not the Love, the Love is still there, I’d still do anything for the man but perhaps there is some other part of ourselves that we share with someone we’re intimate with that is alive. And we, with time, either put the flame out the minute it’s ignited when we have flings or we nurture that flame and watch it grow stronger as we nurture a relationship. But like all things it can die as well. And I’ve protected this flame, that only burned for my ex, from my ex’s ups and downs for as long as I could but I think a couple of days ago he put that flame out when I was too weak to protect it from him.

Now all the things I found so amazing about him I am numb to. He use to be so handsome to me and now he’s just another face. Just like that and it’s gone. I don’t believe these flames are destined to burn out, they have to be forced out. I Love him eternal and unconditionally but I don’t know if that flame will ever come back. I enjoyed that flame and now I feel cheated because I don’t know if I could ignite it again with him even if I wanted to.