Reciprocity – How to tell if someone is truly as invested as you are!!!!!
I just had a major epiphany, I’m so excited!!! And its so simple but I think we always have to “go through it” first before we actually see the light.
In my experiences with men I have found myself wondering plenty of times if the man cared about me or not. I would have my doubts but usually they would tell me “Its not you its me” or “I’m busy” or anything to not lose me but have me on a string. So me being me, I believe people when they tell me something, only recently have I gotten wiser and said “the proof is in the pudding”. I found myself many-a-times faced with the age ole question “Does he care about me the way I care about him?” I am here today to tell you so simply if he cares about you or not…but first…how I got here.
I have an female friend, well lol associate, that I thought was a close friend of mines. When she needed me? I was ALWAYS there, ALWAYS. When she called I answered, if I missed a call, I returned it. We would usually talk late at night about things going on in her relationship and I was right there for her. Even helped her get over insecurities that she had for years. But she seemed always too busy to talk when I had issues I wanted to discuss with her. When I called she wouldn’t answer, when I needed to talk she’d be available for perhaps a few moments and would have to go. This was consistent, there was always some matter more pressing so I pushed it to the side. But the issue that always seemed to linger on my mind was “Why when I need to talk to her is she not available?” So today she dropped the bomb, she eloquently told me that she doesn’t know much about me and I don’t know much about her and pretty much, I wasn’t even a close friend. WOW! She’s told me so much about her life, in my eyes, there isn’t much I don’t know about her, but in her mind I wasn’t even a close friend. And then a light bulb went off…finally I had my answers.
Are you ready for the simple truth?
If someone is invested in your relationship together, they will plant seeds to help it grow. They will make time to spend time with you, they will want to talk to you. If when it comes to being available, they are always busy or if there are always excuses? They are not as invested no matter what comes out of their mouth. They may care about you but are they invested in the relationship? Trust your instincts. And should you be hurt or start going off because they aren’t invested, HECK no. Folks ain’t got to care about you or care about investing in your relationship with them lol. But know that when someone is invested, they will show it, male or female. It takes an honest person to admit that you aren’t a priority to them and not even in anger. I am in AWE of this chick right now LOL.
I guess I didn’t really “get it” because no female has ever just come out so truthfully and honestly and said to me, in so many words, that I wasn’t a priority. It explained so much and when she told me that it clicked for all my relationships. If someone is invested in your relationships with them, they’ll show that they are. They may not be around you all the time but when you need them they will be there for you, if they are able to
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