I’m missing papi so much. To try to alleviate even a semblance of the pain, I bring myself to orgasm, listen to If You Let Me in my headphones, and let the tears rock me to sleep.

I feel someone attempting to enter me from behind and I attempt to awake but I can’t. He stops the attempt when he feels I’m resistant and he rests his head on my shoulder. I attempt to open my eyes but I can’t. I use my hands(?) to feel his face and it feels like him Papi) a bit but this man’s (being’s?) hair is more course but who else could it be? I try so hard to wake up and when I finally do…I’m lying on my left side, arms tucked close to my body…alone in my room.

What was that? AND I WAS NOT ASLEEP! I’m so tired of all of these supernatural occurrences and I have no idea what’s going on in this world. Was I so distraught that someone(thing) could feel the energy and invited themselves to my room? He wasn’t forceful it was as if he was giving me what I wanted but I resisted and he nuzzled up to my shoulder as if to say…”I’m sorry”.