By Published On: December 20th, 20130 Comments

Love’s Chronicles – Entry #89: It’s me, O Lord, It’s Me

I grew up Southern Baptist. We off the chain, folks getting thrown out of church, Easter being a fashion show, Sista Dessa Mae said “What?”, Deacon Brown did “What?”. Growing up Southern Baptist alone is enough for me to need prayer…Thank you (lol). One of the songs that some of you might remember was “It’s Me, O Lord, It’s Me”

It’s me, it’s me, it’s me, O Lord,
Standing in the need of prayer.
It’s me, it’s me, it’s me, O Lord,
Standing in the need of prayer.

Not my brother or my sister,
but it’s me, O Lord,
Standing in the need of prayer.
Not my brother or my sister,
but it’s me, O Lord,
Standing in the need of prayer.

angelLovely song, teaches one to not play victim…but most of us do any way don’t we? Just love to play the martyr and just love to make someone the villain. Sometimes we do it and don’t even realize it, we cleverly lie to ourselves about who we really are, and I tell ya, we will tell no bigger lie in our lives than the lies we tell ourselves…

As for me, for the most part, I know who I am and I know who I am not. I’m one of the most loving and caring people you will ever meet. I’m the most beautiful person I know and I truly do mean that. I’m that way whether I know you or not, whether we are friends or not, whether you’re my family or not, black or white. Its who I was crafted to be. My zodiac sign is Cancer, the great mother. Sounds lovely right

dark_angelOn the dark side of me, there are two things that will make me blow up faster than Hiroshima. One, when I am doing my best, most times overdoing it, and (*cue violin playing*) someone cracks the whip on me when I’m trying so hard as in “It ain’t enough! More! Do better!”, Two, when someone is constantly picking on me. I’ll take it for a little while, do the Jesus thing, but sooner or later I’ll just snap OUT and go off and if you have never seen that side of me, consider it a blessing. (*violin stops, big girl music plays, “Imma boss” by Kelis *) I realize what that is though, its the doormat syndrome. I make myself into a doormat then get mad when folks walk all over me. They looking like, “Well shit the sign said Welcome.” lol That is something I am changing about myself. No one asked me to be a martyr for them. My mom taught me this when I was going into Kindergarten, “Be a good girl and be nice to everybody.” Honey that sort of thinking will have you JACKED UP when you get older. I’m just learning this within these last three years that all though being a “good girl” is nice, it’s not always realistic.

As for you, do you have any animosities or hurt feelings toward someone who doesn’t even know you despise them? Do this, ask yourself, “What have they done to me that I have not done to myself or others?” Think about it…

Just like me playing the doormat and trust to get mad at being walked on, at the end of the day, any feelings we have about other people primarily lies in our hearts. When you don’t like a person, for no good reason, there is something that person displays that you don’t like about yourself. Can’t stand a liar? How often do you find yourself lying? Can’t stand a cheater? What or who have you cheated on? Have you despised an entire person and don’t know shit about them like I have (Lil Wayne & Channing Tatum)? LOL Then you most DEFINITELY need to get to know that person because they have something to teach you and you need to learn it ASAP.

So let’s stop harboring feeling of hatred toward folks, everybody is doing the best they can. Have you had a lot of difficulties with men/women in the past? You think treating everyone else like crap because you were hurt by them is really getting back at them? So you are basically saying, “You treated me like shit, now watch me treat someone I truly Love like shit. Ha! Take that!” Stupid right? Yeah I thought you’d think so. Let’s stop making crazy sexy…that shit ain’t hot.

If like me, you find yourself playing the doormat, then best believe you will attract people who will walk all over you, with pleasure AND no regret I may add. We all need to get our “game up”. Change your thoughts, change your life.

Look into the Three Way Mirror

One of the best investments I have made in my life was the Three Way Mirror Workshop by JujuMama. Look into this mirror and you will know that everything is a reflection of you. We are tiny Suns, and our gravitational energy is pulling to ourselves everything we need to experience to grow and learn. I had been badgered and abused so much growing up and Lord knows I didn’t deserve it so as I couldn’t explain it I just told myself I must of been a horrible person in a previous life and this life was meant for me to pay penance…Wow was I wrong, this mirror exercise changed my life and it will change yours, its worth every penny.
 

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