I remember the day 9/11/07. The day I released myself from the shackles of Lovelessness. Shackles I had so long ago placed securely around my entire being. When the chains were gone, I changed who I was physically and mentally. I felt so much Love inside of me that I began writing poetry that I had hated months before. The beauty started pouring out. I focused on only my needs and not my wants. I sold most of my possessions even my bed to live a simple life with just me, my books and my thoughts…perfect harmony.
Then one day, in walked this cute guy at my job. OMG, I felt so strongly for him! I wrote him so much poetry and my thoughts were of him day and night. I didn’t know it then but that’s when I once again lost who I was. It happened just that fast. I put my focus and energy into a man and lost me once again.
Time went on and I got deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole until I realized that the lessons I was learning I already had learned. Life was repeating itself again. Why? Because I didn’t learn the lesson the first time. I just thought I did. I wanted so badly to learn that I tricked myself in to believing I had. I put my desires before my needs and I was headed towards inner turmoil.
Just a moment ago I had an epiphany. “Love do you realize that you are enough?”. I thought to myself, “Why yes I do realize I’m enough.” Then a second thought, “Now, do you you believe you are enough?” It stopped me in my tracks. Realization or an understanding is one thing belief or faith in the truth that I am “enough” is another. From this day forward I place all that I hold dear on faith that I am enough, that all I need is inside me.