I love the fact that each passing day brings me closer to you. I know in my heart and soul that GOD, in giving you to me, is signaling my commission to do some great work in the world. Before you, I was chilling. I mean – I was taking care of Amir and Ajay and content to just do that. I recognize that there are karmic walls and doors. Push against them as much as you like, they open on GOD’s time.

In examining our relationship and how we came together, just think about it. I went to a forum that I seldom visited, one dedicated to a lifestyle different than the one we’re embarking upon, to discover a woman who wasn’t sharing a dating profile, but an account of a sexual experience. I mean – if someone were to tell me that’s how I would meet my wife, I would have laughed at them. And, yet, here we are. Karmic walls came down. Karmic doors swung wide open.
Yours was a history of meeting Mr. Wrong. Mines was a history of being unable to find Mrs. Right. So, I had initially thought to have a relationship with a few women, toward meeting my basic survival needs. It was in an atmosphere like that…

They say that 75% of one’s happiness in life is directly attributed to his/her choice of a life partner.
I can definitely see the truth of that, which is why I wasn’t so gung-ho to meet anyone. A bad relationship can really send one’s life into a tale-spin.
When I met you, I knew that you would make me three-times the man I am today. You’re with me, so you will not be able to appreciate my growth and transformation in the same way. But, in a year, people will not recognize me as the person they knew in 2016. I attribute that to you. To give you an idea of what others will see, let me first give a point-by-point assessment of where I am today.

Where I Am Today:

Let’s start with finances. Summers are a bit rough for me. Bills fall behind. It’s just the way it has been the last ten years. It really has me thinking – perhaps, we should consider working part-time in the summer and just enjoying it, because I don’t know where the money goes. Lol So, right now, everything is a little past due. I eventually pay everything off by the holidays and am able to enjoy Christmas, but still. August, September and October are rough months.
Next, let’s look at style. Jerai never really appreciated my style of dress. She wanted to make me over in an image she liked. So, my desire to be fashionable suffered. I don’t mind being advised, but being dismissed made me care less about fashion. So, I have one or two ensembles that I wear out. I really need to change that. I have a woman who appreciates me and need to develop and appreciable sense of fashion.

Sex. Sex with me is amazing. I lost a little bit of confidence when Jerai told me I couldn’t kiss. After five years of being in a relationship, she said I couldn’t kiss. I’m thinking – well, if it wasn’t to your liking, we had four years, eleven months and six days to be working on it. So, I love that we talk. I love that we’ll take tantra classes together and evolve our sex-life with the other aspects of our life. Since each love affair is different, no lover is perfect in all of them. Communication gives us an opportunity to make it better and better, until it’s just right.
Aside from choice of a mate, career is the second elephant in the room. If we can really set our career and financial goals and begin to succeed in that way, we will have a wonderful marriage. My career path has not been a stable one, by any stretch of the imagination. If there’s any area that needs work, it’s there. Together, we have to determine what that path will be and I have to stick to it. That’s the bottom line. I work 16 hours a day now. Well, I cut it back to 11, because I have to consolidate if I am to move forward in a more advantageous direction.
So, in the next e-mail I will list the options, along with salaries and growth projections (where available). Then, we can make a determination on where I should put my energy in the short term, mid-range and toward long-term growth. Every dime I have is the family’s money. Every dime I make is for the family. And, all of my energy belongs to our family. There is no more me. It’s us. And, I have to do what’s best for us. That means listening to you, making determinations together and moving forward together.

It is a little scary, but it’s better to put my faith in the wife I know than in all the ways that I don’t.
I am going to use the Black Moon to banish everything that is not us – past life karma, other women, debt, etc. in getting us ready to move forward. Anyway, I’ve got to go. Career plan will be included in tomorrow’s journal. LOVE YOU baby.

P.S. Did a little research on the Black Moon.

Black Moon:

2016 Sept. 30 Second New Moon in a single calendar month

The Black moon, also called the Dark Moon and the Lost Moon, is the point when the moon is at it’s darkest in the sky. It is the end of the moon cycle when the absence of light in the sky reflects a void. Therefore by this theory, the black moon is the most appropriate time to perform banishings, cleansings, exorcisms and other rejectionary forms of magick. Do your own experimentation to determine which system (or both) is right for you.
Source: http://www.occult100.com/bos/moonphases.html

Most Witches know that the waning phase of the Moon occurs between the Full and New Moon phases, and it is during this time that we do magic to remove harmful or unwanted influences. By tapping into the Moon’s decreasing energy, we release and banish those things that do not serve our highest good. It is a time to magically remove obstacles and anything that may be blocking us from achieving our goals. On a much deeper level, the Dark Moon represents those things about ourselves that we keep hidden in shadow. It is a time to focus on inner workings and personal transformation. Harmful thought-patterns, personality traits, addictions, fears, anger issues and bad habits are all things that we can look within to analyze and seek to remove during the Dark Moon. It is usually recommended to cast these kinds of spells as close to the Dark/New Moon as possible, or during the Waning Moon phase.
Source: https://rikpotter.com/2012/02/12/dark-moon-magick/